Well, I’m going to make this quick tonight, because the internet has been sporadic at best for the last hour and a half and I have no guarantee that I’ll still have it when I hit Publish on this post.
So no jokes, no rambling anecdotes, no going on and on and on about how I tend to go on, I’m just going to get right to the part where I say that the new chapter of my FNAF fanfiction is up on ff.net and ao3 and if that’s a thing you’re into at the moment, please go check it out, and if you’re still undecided, here is a snippet that probably won’t change your mind, but hey, I gotta keep trying.
I realize that fanfiction isn’t for everyone and this one goes pretty dark, but all modesty aside, I am really proud of what I’m doing with this one. With every book I write, I think, “This is the best thing I’ve ever written. If this is the last thing I ever write, I will be proud to go out on this one,” (and if ever there comes a day that I don’t think that, it probably really will be the last thing I write, or at least publish), but this really is what I consider the best of my books. It’s got kind of a goofy premise, what with the animal-shaped robots and all–
–but I’m proud of it. I really am. I will probably never be able to do this again, meaning take a year (and growing!) off to write a series I let people read for free, but if this is my one chance, I’m glad this is what I’ve done with it. If nothing else, it’s allowed me to cross ‘robot’ off my Bucket List of Characters to Write Serious Sex Scenes For. Number One on that list is, as you all know, Tender Tentacles. But Number Three was Robot (and Number Seven was Furry, which I’d already sort of checked off anyway, given that I’ve already done lizards and bugs, although technically I think of them as aliens).
Of course, having said that, I should warn you there is no sex in this week’s chapter, but it’s coming. (wink) This week, you’ll just have to make do with the next best thing. Swashbuckling!
“I know those ducts connect with the parts room,” Ana said. “If you can lead me there—”
“I ain’t sure I c-c-can, but I be d-d-dead sure I won’t,” Foxy interrupted.
Ana’s even temper visibly tilted. “That stupid rule specified the doors.”
“I could argue what-t-t the word ‘access’ means, but I ain’t even t-t-talking about the rules now. I ain’t c-climbing up in that d-d-damned crawlway, not even if ye were to ask-k-k on yer knees.”
“All you have to do is show me how to get there. I’ll go in on my own.”
“No, luv. All I ‘have to do’ is obey me p-p-programming, do me shows and stay sexy. All else is me own p-p-pleasure. I ain’t-t-t helping ye get backstage.”
“I’m asking you to help your friends. I’m asking you to help yourself.”
“Nice t-tr-try, luv. Yer asking me to side with ye against-t-t Freddy. Well, me programming means I c-c-can’t, me inclination means I won’t and me common sense means I shouldn’t-t-t. And now we’re down to ten minutes, so unless ye’ve something else to say, we really-ly-ly need to get to the tog-slipping and the rum-drinking if I’m going to fire yer cannons before the next show starts.”
“I’ve got something else to say all right.” She stepped back, squared her shoulders, and said, “I challenge you to a duel.”
His right eyebrow twitched up. “Ye can’t be serious.”
“Captain Fox can’t refuse a challenge. It’s part of your core program, you said. Immutable, like your speech patterns.”
“I can’t-t-t go against Freddy either! That’s one o’ the blasted-d-d rules! Absolute!”
“That must be a very uncomfortable feeling for you.”
He barked a laugh, ears forward. “Aye, it is, ye d-d-damned she-witch! Ye have no id-d-dea!”
“Sounds like the only way to resolve it is to accept my challenge and beat me. So. I challenge you to a duel,” she said again, loud and clear. “If I win, you have to tell me how to get backstage.”
“And when I win?” he countered, standing tall and towering over her.
She faced him again, unafraid, and shrugged. “I don’t really need to worry about that, because you’re not going to. But sure, just for giggles, is there something you want from me?”
“Coo, sure st-st-starting to,” he growled, amused in spite of himself.