Yes, you read that blog-title right. I have an actual official merch store now. Just click on that link and hop on over to redbubble, where you can find a wide variety of RLee-themed clothing, coffee mugs, face masks and more, featuring quotes from my books, my red-eye brand icon and other stuff that reminds me of me. Have you ever found yourself in a truly piss-licking mood and needed a slow-count of six, but can remember what comes after ‘Two for his brunt?’ Get yourself a Prayer to the Six sticker for your hydroflask, laptop or the dashboard of your car. Do you need the word Jentacular defined on your very own jentacular mug? Of course you do! Ever wondered how to tell the world Se garrug y sildurra Kane without having to actually pronounce an alien language? Show your loyalty to our favorite dopine-harvesting slaver with a selection of comfy hoodies and tees. Over a dozen designs are already available across a variety of products, with more coming as we work ’em out.
And of course, I have a new chapter of my FNAF fanfic up on fanfiction.net and archiveofourown.org, so if you are reading Everything Is All Right, Part IV: New Faces, Old Bones, be sure to hop on over and check it out. We’re getting pretty close to the end of the fourth books, after which I will be taking a quick break from EIAR so that I can write Reed’s story, resurrected from the editing room floor and restored to the Arcadian series. After that, it will be right back to FNAF until the fifth (and final!) book is finished. I’ll be sad to see the end of that series, but I’m already feeling the excitement kindling for the Dark Fae series I have planned to follow it. Plus, there are two more lost Arcadian stories to come, so stay tuned, readers! And in the meantime, there’s always the fanfic, where things are definitely taking a turn for the weird…
“Cool, cool,” he said, nodding, but wound down into a wince. “Okay, so here’s the thing. I…have a question. And it’s kind of awkward, but I’ve run out of time to procrastinate on it, so I’ve got to ask. I’m just not sure how to bring it up.”
Ana shrugged. “Spit it out.”
“Okay. So it’s…okay. Okay.” He took a breath, muttered, “Okay,” one more time for luck, then said, “Do you want them all done like the fox?”
Some part of Ana must have known what that meant, because her stomach tightened at once with inexplicable guilt, but the rest of her was so tired that she just blinked at him. “What, like…a whole family of foxes? No. We just went over this, man. Barry’s a bear, Buster’s—”
She broke off there because Yoshi was already shaking his head and behind him, Ana saw Foxy give her a special sort of Look, so he knew what this was about.
And then she got it, a split-second before Yoshi said, “I’m not talking about what’s on the outside, I mean on the inside.”
Ana opened her mouth, but the vehement protests never came out. She just sat there, gaping, and the longer her silence stretched out, the more her window for denying it dwindled until she all but heard it slam shut. Of course Yoshi was going to notice what was hidden behind Foxy’s loin-plate at some point during his complete reconstruction. Did she really think he wouldn’t know what it was?
Yoshi promptly made things worse by dumping more enthusiasm on the fire. “It’s fine! What a lady does with her bots is entirely her own business.”
“I’m not doing anything!” Ana said, way too loudly and way too late. She was blushing; she could feel it, like actual acid eating her face. “That was there when I got him!”
Yoshi winced again, sharing her embarrassment good-naturedly and adopted a pacifying tone. “Okay, so…do you want me to take Percy’s…um, ‘peg leg’ off?”
The earth refused to open up and swallow her and a meteorite refused to scream down out of the sky and flatten her, so Ana had to say, “No,” and just wish she was dead instead.
“It’s okay,” Yoshi said after a million years. “Really. It is. I’m not judging you. When I first got back on my feet, the only place that would hire me was at one of those ‘adult novelty’ manufacturing places, only these guys catered to more…niche tastes. Really niche. Like someone browsed Bad Dragon and said, ‘You know, there’s some good ideas here, but I think we can take it a lot further.’”
Ana covered her face.
“Mostly handhelds,” Yoshi went on relentlessly. “But we did a pretty good sideline in life-size dolls and that was where I mainly worked. You know. Sculpting various movie monsters and aliens and that one lizard-guy from that book by—”
“Dude!” Ana sputtered through her hands. “I do not want to hear this!”